This is the first part of a dialog between myself (Paul) and my brother David. We disagree on the topic of if we should teach our children about God.
David: Why should you teach fish about water?
Young kids live in a unitive consciousness already. Anything you say can only serve to activate the thinking (discriminatory) mind, which creates the feeling of separateness. My biggest problem with religious lessons for kids is that it strives to create the illusion that we are separate from God. Its embedded in the language we use by labeling parts of their universe as “God” and “Not God.” This growing alienation from “God” is conveniently to be healed later, by means of the church’s prescription for reconciliation with God, which is only a partial healing. It isn’t a true merging with the Divine, but sets up God as an object to be worshiped. This provides a measure of healing, but the worshipped and the worshipper stay forever separate. Perceived distance from God will be experienced as pain. Why set our kids up for that? I say let them not even think about God, but just encourage them to swim inside His warm flowing River.
Paul: Understanding brings us closer
We have all been created by God with a free will. God wants us to freely love Him, or freely reject Him rather than command respect and worship from on high. If we are never separated from God, then how can we really have free will? If I choose to do as much harm to others as I can, how can I still be united with God?
As you know from your travels, it is nearly impossible to appreciate something or somewhere fully until you lose it. Being separate from God (at times) allows us to see what ‘Not God’ is like, and therefore makes our joy at knowing God all the richer.
About the “warm flowing river”, I like the analogy, but couldn’t the same be said of music? Children love to sing and hum, but if you only encourage them vaguely and hold back from them the storehouses of knowledge and training, they will never know the full joy of being a master musician. I am not talking about pounding in training, and sucking the life and joy out of a thing, but rather that any relationship (with music, friends, or God) grows deeper when there is more knowledge and understanding of the Other.
David:
TBD
Paul: What are parents for?
As parents, it is our responsibility to prepare our children to take on the challenges and responsibilities of being an adult. We don’t want them to be an adult and not be able to make mac-n-cheese or clean their room. On a higher level, we should also teach them about the world we all live in, and if your world includes God, then naturally, that would be part of the narrative as well.
Of course, teaching children about God is not the same as teaching them how to brush their teeth. As I mentioned earlier, God does not give us 100% certainty about His existence, as that would remove free will. In addition, there are so many groups and books claiming different things about God that it can be overwhelming. However, the same can be said for styles of cooking. We shouldn’t hesitate to give our children a big taste of our understanding and relationship with God, while providing a foundation to explore the one who made them and loves them.
David:
TBD
We teach our kids about God and the principles He’s given us to live by because we’re instructed to in the Word. We can get philosophical and make some interesting and logical points, but God makes it pretty clear in the Word that we must teach our kids.
As parents, we teach our kids about hygiene. It doesn’t come naturally. We teach our kids all kinds of things for their protection–talking to strangers, the kinds of friends we make, etc. To agree we need to do these basic things of parenting, but to say that when it comes to spiritual things we should take a step back seems inconsistent. We must help our kids spiritually. Our kids aren’t naturally Godlike. They are naturally drawn to sin. Consequently, we teach, warn, and ultimately protect them.
As for this concern of not letting our kids feel separated from God . . . there is a mistake in that thinking. Until they are saved, they ARE separate from God. The Bible clearly says that our sins separate us from God. So we teach them about God, His love, and about God’s great gift to end that separation.
There are the classic passages in Deuteronomy, Ephesians 6, and check out Psalm 78:1-8 that make it clear that God expects us to teach our kids about Him. All these passages underscore the importance of teaching our kids about God. The things we’ve learned and experienced. It is all about helping them know God, trust God, obey God, and not to forget God. In so many ways this boils down to protecting our kids. It is a mandate from God, and one that just happens to make a lot of practical sense.
Malachi 2 talks of the importance of a man and wife having a solid marriage and not going the route of a divorce because of God using a Godly marriages to raise up godly offspring. Divorce messes with the spiritual formation of kids-which is one reason why God says he hates divorce in 2:15-16.
We don’t allow our kids a self-study environment for hygiene issues, issues of having good manners, issues of safety, driving a car, learning to swim in deep water, dating, and so many other less important things. And we don’t want to rely on self-study with spiritual things, either. If God is real, and He has guidelines for life and a relationship with Him, it is critical that we understand these things and help our kids understand them as well.
David, your thinking is deep. Kids won’t be thinking on this level any more than you were at their age. We must teach them now, the foundational things, as the Word instructs.
But you must know God yourself if you are to teach your kids about Him. You must know what the Bible says, not just what the church says. In the kindest way I can, I need to point at that your conclusions are not accurate. The church doesn’t reconcile people with God, it is Jesus that does that. And the worshipper and the worshipped don’t stay forever separated. That is 100% opposite of what the Word teaches. So if you really want to help and guide your kids, you need to really understand the truth yourself.
It seems you have been disillusioned with the church. And often there is good reason for that. But you have some understandings that conflict with the Bible. If that teaching came from your church, you need to find one that teaches what the Bible really says. God doesn’t speak of any warm flowing river that we let our kids swim in without even having thoughts about God. It speaks of a path we must walk, must deliberately choose to have a relationship with God. In the absence of deliberately choosing that path, we choose to remain on a path that is heading for destruction.
There is much more I could say on the topic, but I’ve probably said enough. By not exploring these spiritual issues carefully, and sharing with our kids, you are doing the exact thing you probably feel is wrong about those who chose to teach their kids about God. You are manipulating them, in your own way, to your way of thinking. If you really want to let your kids decide for themselves, look for the truth first yourself. Then you can lead them more accurately.