As parents, we teach our kids about hygiene. It doesn’t come naturally. We teach our kids all kinds of things for their protection–talking to strangers, the kinds of friends we make, etc. To agree we need to do these basic things of parenting, but to say that when it comes to spiritual things we should take a step back seems inconsistent. We must help our kids spiritually. Our kids aren’t naturally Godlike. They are naturally drawn to sin. Consequently, we teach, warn, and ultimately protect them.

As for this concern of not letting our kids feel separated from God . . . there is a mistake in that thinking. Until they are saved, they ARE separate from God. The Bible clearly says that our sins separate us from God. So we teach them about God, His love, and about God’s great gift to end that separation.

There are the classic passages in Deuteronomy, Ephesians 6, and check out Psalm 78:1-8 that make it clear that God expects us to teach our kids about Him. All these passages underscore the importance of teaching our kids about God. The things we’ve learned and experienced. It is all about helping them know God, trust God, obey God, and not to forget God. In so many ways this boils down to protecting our kids. It is a mandate from God, and one that just happens to make a lot of practical sense.

Malachi 2 talks of the importance of a man and wife having a solid marriage and not going the route of a divorce because of God using a Godly marriages to raise up godly offspring. Divorce messes with the spiritual formation of kids-which is one reason why God says he hates divorce in 2:15-16.

We don’t allow our kids a self-study environment for hygiene issues, issues of having good manners, issues of safety, driving a car, learning to swim in deep water, dating, and so many other less important things. And we don’t want to rely on self-study with spiritual things, either. If God is real, and He has guidelines for life and a relationship with Him, it is critical that we understand these things and help our kids understand them as well.

David, your thinking is deep. Kids won’t be thinking on this level any more than you were at their age. We must teach them now, the foundational things, as the Word instructs.

But you must know God yourself if you are to teach your kids about Him. You must know what the Bible says, not just what the church says. In the kindest way I can, I need to point at that your conclusions are not accurate. The church doesn’t reconcile people with God, it is Jesus that does that. And the worshipper and the worshipped don’t stay forever separated. That is 100% opposite of what the Word teaches. So if you really want to help and guide your kids, you need to really understand the truth yourself.

It seems you have been disillusioned with the church. And often there is good reason for that. But you have some understandings that conflict with the Bible. If that teaching came from your church, you need to find one that teaches what the Bible really says. God doesn’t speak of any warm flowing river that we let our kids swim in without even having thoughts about God. It speaks of a path we must walk, must deliberately choose to have a relationship with God. In the absence of deliberately choosing that path, we choose to remain on a path that is heading for destruction.

There is much more I could say on the topic, but I’ve probably said enough. By not exploring these spiritual issues carefully, and sharing with our kids, you are doing the exact thing you probably feel is wrong about those who chose to teach their kids about God. You are manipulating them, in your own way, to your way of thinking. If you really want to let your kids decide for themselves, look for the truth first yourself. Then you can lead them more accurately.